40 Things I Learnt At 40

Turning 40 has been a moment for reflection, an opportunity to look back at the lessons, mistakes, and small wins that have shaped who I am today.

Some of these lessons came from travel, others from yoga, health coaching, or just navigating the messy, wonderful reality of being human.

They’re reminders to slow down, stay curious, take care of your body, and make peace with where you are.

Whether you’re 20, 40, or 60, I hope these reflections spark something in you — a sense of balance, gratitude, and perhaps a little inspiration to live life on your own terms.

1. Don’t waste time on people who don’t give you the same energy - I learnt in my early 20s that if people let me down to set a boundary and not allow them to waste my time. It's freeing. 

   
   

2. It's ok to have downtime - my yoga philosophy teacher in India Jadoo said to me “why do you see being busy all the time as a measure of your success” and that really stuck with me. It's ok to rest and do nothing sometimes, don’t feel guilty. 

   
   

3. You need those ride or die friends - there are different friends for different situations, but we all need that friend who has got your back no matter what. You can tell them the wildest shit and they won’t judge. 

   
   

4. Travel makes you a better person - I’ve been to 47 countries and counting, it shaped my view of the world, taught me about my privilege growing up in NZ and that humans are inherently good despite what the media might show us. 

   
   

5. Life is about who you know - learning how to network will open doors that would be impossible otherwise. As much as we want to earn things on our merit, being connected pays dividends.

   
   

6. Give and you will receive - sometimes you need to give to others before you receive support, business, whatever. Don’t be afraid to give without expectations of anything in return.

   
   

7. Your health is everything - without your health and mobility life becomes very hard (as I see in the clients). Keep active so you can enjoy the things you love in your twilight years.

   
   

8. 40 is not old - we might not be half way through our lives, the best is yet to come.

   
   

9. Eat real food - I lived on fake meat products for years for the sake of the animals. Processed food contributes to ill health, choose whole foods. .

   
   

10. Sleep is your biggest high performance tool - prioritise this over everything. Six hours a night is not enough.

    
    

11. Find your purpose - I’ve been lucky enough to find mine with health coaching, yours might not be your career but reflect on why you get out of bed every morning. If you don't have a reason, find one.

    
    

12. You are never too old to change careers or leave a relationship - you’ve only got one life, enjoy the journey. 

    
    

13. Have some tools to manage stress - we all experience stress in our lives whether we acknowledge it or not. Know what makes you feel good and allow yourself time to enjoy it. 

    
    

14. Ask for what you want - give yourself permission to use your voice and speak up.

    
    

15. Don't make assumptions - you are probably wrong.

    
    

16. Don't take ‘no’ for an answer (with exceptions) - if you want something go for it, if you get rejected ask why so you can nail it next time.

    
    

17. Be impeccable with your word - say what you mean, be honest and don’t speak poorly about others.

    
    

18. Do hard things - start a business, climb a mountain, master that yoga pose, do a cold plunge. The sense of achievement will fuel you and give you confidence. 

    
    

19. Be kind to yourself - talk to yourself the way you’d speak to someone you love not hate.

     

20. Enjoy your money you cant take it to the grave - this is not to say be reckless with your spending, but take a trip or buy an outfit that makes you feel good about yourself.

    
    

21. Everyone has issues in their family - people portray happy families but if you look under the hood they always have issues so don’t compare.

    
    

22. More than three drinks does not serve me - nights out used to be about getting as drunk as possible. Now I'm quite happy to be a sober driver and wake up feeling fresh. 

    
    

23. Stay curious and keep learning - you will never know everything so ask questions, the most interesting people are the ones who can teach you something.

    
    

24. Learn how to cook - food is medicine and feeling confident in the kitchen means you can nourish yourself and those around you.

    
    

25. Find someone to hold you accountable - if you want to set yourself a goal make sure you tell someone and let them hold you to account, you are much more likely to be successful.

    
    

26. Check in on friends - we get caught up with our own lives and don’t prioritise this. But you never know what someone else is going through until you ask. A conversation can save a life. 

    
    

27. People evolve - judge them by who they show up as now, not who they used to be.

    
    

28. Everything happens for a reason - you might miss out on something you really wanted but it wasn’t meant to be and something better is around the corner.

    
    

29. Progress is not linear - you will have set backs but don’t give up on your goals.

    
    

30. Spending time in nature is good for the soul - enjoy simple pleasures like walking on grass with your shoes off, picking flowers and dipping your toes in the sea.

    
    

31. Everyone feels like an imposter at some point - trust me, even the most confident and capable people doubt themselves.

    
    

32. People’s reactions are a reflection of their own inner world - don’t take things personally. I remind myself of this whenever I see road rage.

    
    

33. Say yes to new experiences and stepping outside your comfort zone - you will be surprised by how much it fosters personal growth and connection.

    
    

34. Make your bed every morning - coming home to a tidy, organised house is good for your mental health.

    
    

35. The sun is your friend - we’ve been taught to fear skin cancer, but we need vitamin D for our immune system, bones and sleep. Getting sunlight in your eyes first thing in the morning helps regulate your circadian rhythm. 

    
    

36. Stop chasing things / people. In the spirit of Santosha (‘Contentment’ in Sanskrit) be happy with what you have because of its experiences and quality connections which truly make us happy.

    
    

37. Wear sunscreen on your face everyday though - I did this from the age of 23 after reading Paula Begoun’s Beauty Bible and credit this to not looking 40 ;-)

    
    

38. Make peace with your past - there’s no point holding onto resentment or things people said to you years ago, it will only make YOU sick not them.

    
    

39. Exercise is medicine - you can’t tell me that a long walk to clear your head doesn’t make things better. Any movement is better than nothing but why not get bang for your buck and actually challenge yourself.

    
    

40. One of the most humbling things is watching the sunrise or sunset and realising you are just a speck in this beautiful world.